Parenting

Spanking May Not Be The Most Effective Way To Discipline Your Child



Anytime I read comments on the articles about why you shouldn’t spank your child, it’s obvious parents still believe in spanking as a way of disciplining their wards. One of the reasons why spanking is not seen as an effective way of disciplining your child is because it will only bring dread and fear into your child’s mind especially those kinds of parents who beat their children blue black. Besides, there are other ways to discipline your child without really beating them.

Here’s how you can avoid punishing children;
1. Punishment makes a child feel unloved

By spanking your kids, they’ll feel worthless and insecure. Some parents don’t even see spanking their kids in public as a big deal, they’ll shout and hit kids in full public eye making the child feel ashamed and humiliated. Avoid spanking or punishing your child in full public view or their friends
2. Correct their mistakes

Beating your kid is not the best way to tell them what they did wrong and why it’s wrong. Instead, sit them down and gently tell them “beating your sister is wrong because… Don’t ever do that again” This way they know what they did wrong and why it’s wrong, they’ll also lear that people make mistakes but it mustn’t be repeated. Looking back now, I realised I never knew why I was beaten by my mom, I just know I did wrong and had to be punished, but I wasn’t told why what I did is considered wrong. 
3. Avoid extreme punishments



Giving your child light punishment from time to time is okay as long as it’s not extreme and you don’t do it often. On those rare occasions you punish your child, she’d know that she really went to the extreme which is why she had to be punished. But locking them up in their room, starving them, or beating them blue black is too extreme.
4. Don’t get violent

When your child offend you, don’t punish them immediately. When you angrily hit your child, you may hurt them in the process cursing your child to be injured, then you’d start feeling guilty.
5. 
Encourage good behaviour

When your child does something impressive, encourage and reward them, this will communicate to them that being of good behaviour is the best. That way, they’d want to do the right thing, knowing doing bad will do them no good.
6. Watch what your child 
watches

Keep an eye on what your children watch, children can learn different things from social media,  videos and movies. If your child has an iPhone or iPad, put parental control on it to monitor what they watch.
7. Model good behaviour

Keep your child away from environments that’ll influence them badly, also at home, realise your children will imitate whatever you do, so be careful what you do around them.
8. Never compare your children

Never compare your child to another or their friends, this usually make children revolt and want to act rashly and be the exact opposite of the person they are being compared to.

And finally, whatever your child is good at, nurture it! Don’t get worked up because your child doesn’t meet your expectation or about what they are unable to do, focus on their strength while gently helping them work on their weaknesses. Let them realise their strength too, so they are not of the opinion that they aren’t good with anything.

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15 Signs Your “Innocent” Child Is Lying



Children think they are very clever, and when they lie giving you that adorable look, you’ll almost believe them until you take a closer look. I asked my 5-year-old child, “what did you do to your sister” “Nothing” He said, giving me that angelic look of his, yet he was seated on his sister’s hand. Nothing indeed.

They have no qualms conning you right to your face and they feel no pinch of guilt about it, whatever they do they’ll still be your adorable little ones, though.  But I must say that some are very good at lying than others, so in order to catch them at their thing, you need to be on the red alert! So here are the signs that your innocent child is lying through his teeth;

  1. You ask him “did you bed-wet today” and she answers “No” with a squeezed face and a hand covering her wet cloth.
  2. You smell something funny and you ask “are you pooping” And she answers with a grunt “No” from behind the chair.
  3. You find call history to your old friends after your child has denied ever touching your phone yet your credit is exhausted.
  4. Crumbs of biscuit or residue of the things she claimed she didn’t eat smeared across her face or on her mouth.
  5. Scared that you might read the truth from his expression, he looks left, right and anywhere else but you as you ask questions(beware some can look straight into your eyes and lie)
  6. “Junior! Are you….” You asked from inside the room and he calls out “No, I’m not” but his sister’s muffled cry of “Yes, he is” can be heard through the pillow or hand he covered her mouth with.
  7. You ask a question, he answers, then run to a distance where your hand can’t reach him(hold him, he’s guilty)
  8. He has other people to pin the blame on and they are all denying.
  9. The child you are speaking to has one or more siblings she can pin the blame on.
  10. Her face is saying “I’m telling the truth” so is her lips but her body language says “I might run anytime soon, watch me”
  11. “What’s that sound” you asked after you heard a crash, then they replied “Nothing mom!” from inside the room, they probably just broke your bottle of perfume!
  12. “Where is the superglue” or “Where’s the needle” she casually asked and when you asked her what it’s for she replied “Nothing” Hmm…
  13. When his “No” comes out as a “Nooooooo” They are trying to assure you and calm themselves as well, which is why the “NO” has so many oooo.
  14. She said “ummmmmm’ for more than 10 seconds before answering the question you asked her.
  15. He tries to stop you from entering his room or opening the drawer.

And these are the ways you can catch your child at his lying game.

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