Anytime I read comments on the articles about why you shouldn’t spank your child, it’s obvious parents still believe in spanking as a way of disciplining their wards. One of the reasons why spanking is not seen as an effective way of disciplining your child is because it will only bring dread and fear into your child’s mind especially those kinds of parents who beat their children blue black. Besides, there are other ways to discipline your child without really beating them.
Here’s how you can avoid punishing children;
1. Punishment makes a child feel unloved
By spanking your kids, they’ll feel worthless and insecure. Some parents don’t even see spanking their kids in public as a big deal, they’ll shout and hit kids in full public eye making the child feel ashamed and humiliated. Avoid spanking or punishing your child in full public view or their friends
2. Correct their mistakes
Beating your kid is not the best way to tell them what they did wrong and why it’s wrong. Instead, sit them down and gently tell them “beating your sister is wrong because… Don’t ever do that again” This way they know what they did wrong and why it’s wrong, they’ll also lear that people make mistakes but it mustn’t be repeated. Looking back now, I realised I never knew why I was beaten by my mom, I just know I did wrong and had to be punished, but I wasn’t told why what I did is considered wrong.
3. Avoid extreme punishments
Giving your child light punishment from time to time is okay as long as it’s not extreme and you don’t do it often. On those rare occasions you punish your child, she’d know that she really went to the extreme which is why she had to be punished. But locking them up in their room, starving them, or beating them blue black is too extreme.
4. Don’t get violent
When your child offend you, don’t punish them immediately. When you angrily hit your child, you may hurt them in the process cursing your child to be injured, then you’d start feeling guilty.
5. Encourage good behaviour
When your child does something impressive, encourage and reward them, this will communicate to them that being of good behaviour is the best. That way, they’d want to do the right thing, knowing doing bad will do them no good.
6. Watch what your child watches
Keep an eye on what your children watch, children can learn different things from social media, videos and movies. If your child has an iPhone or iPad, put parental control on it to monitor what they watch.
7. Model good behaviour
Keep your child away from environments that’ll influence them badly, also at home, realise your children will imitate whatever you do, so be careful what you do around them.
8. Never compare your children
Never compare your child to another or their friends, this usually make children revolt and want to act rashly and be the exact opposite of the person they are being compared to.
And finally, whatever your child is good at, nurture it! Don’t get worked up because your child doesn’t meet your expectation or about what they are unable to do, focus on their strength while gently helping them work on their weaknesses. Let them realise their strength too, so they are not of the opinion that they aren’t good with anything.