Fertility

My Mom Knew I Was Pregnant Before I Did


Thanks to my “noviceness” when I’m pregnant I don’t know I am until the symptoms are practically poking me in the nose, that’s the only time I’d pause, think about the symptoms and realise with widened eyes that  yes, I have a little person growing in me. With my first child it was funny my brother asked me “Sis do quick and give Fola (my husband) a baby o” to this I replied “We’ve not started trying o jawe” With raised eyebrow my mother replied “are you sure about that?” She forced me to take a pregnancy test and it was positive.

“How come I didn’t know!” I protested “Because you have eyes but they don’t see” trust my mom to rub it in my face, anyway she knew way before I got to know that I was pregnant, for my two pregnancies.

You know those people who take just one look at you and know you’re pregnant? She’s one of them! My sister Derayo’s mother-in-law is like that too, you don’t need to do a pregnancy test, just let her take one look at you with her squinty eyes and she’ll declare you’re pregnant. In short she announced the pregnancy of all her grandchildren, no need telling her, she’ll be the announcer.

When she was pregnant with her second child, she went to visit her mother-in-law, she greeted her effusively, this greeting was too much and Derayo started suspecting her, as she was washing the clothes given to her, her MIL came out and sat down beside her, grinning mischievously from ear to ear.


“Okay, mama I know you have something on your mind, spill it”  Giving her the “I don’t know what you’re talking about” look “Nothing, nothing on my mind. When are you going to give me the gist” Now Derayo was lost.

“What are you talking about?”

Now it was her MIL’s turn to be indignant “Don’t tell me you don’t know you’re pregnant” “for how long were you hoping to hide it from me” she attacked. But the shock on Derayo’s face told her she never knew.

At that moment, Derayo realised she had seen the tell-tale signs but had ignored it, she was happy about the pregnancy but unprepared. It made sense though, since she and her husband were just firing on during their honeymoon without thoughts of how things would change if they scored the goal.

Needless to say, the pregnancy test showed positive, her husband danced around the house like someone who won the jackpot. The next time her MIL took a look at her again and announced “you are pregnant! Look at your pale face” while she was still breastfeeding her first child she shot her a dagger look, if only eyes could kill ……

Anyway, her MIL was right again and this time around, she really wasn’t ready for the pregnancy, as her first child was only 6 months old, no one told her before she went on family planning.

So yeah, Derayo’s MIL knew she was pregnant even before she knew on both times, and she found it very unnerving. The same with my mom, I wonder how these old women do it, they say they see pregnancy in your heels, how weird is that?

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At What Age Should You Have A Baby?


Scientists have revealed the perfect age for parents to start a family and why, and this might come as a surprise to many.To have the best chance of having just one child naturally, couples should start trying to conceive when the female is aged under 32. But for those yearning for two children, the woman should be about 27.

And to have three children, the new research indicates that women should only wait until they are 23 to start trying to become pregnant.

The researchers, from Erasmus University Medical Center in the Netherlands, said the latest female age that a couple should start trying to become pregnant depended on the importance of achieving their desired family size and their views on IVF.

If couples would consider IVF, those wanting a one-child family could wait until the woman was 35, but 31 was the cap for two children and 28 for three children.


While the results may come as a surprise to many young couples, it may also be reassuring for those aiming for a smaller family.

“For couples who are content with one child and do not wish a very high chance of success: they can start at age 37 for a 75 per cent (chance of success) and 41 years for a 50 per cent success chance,” lead researcher Professor Dik Habbema wrote in the journal Human Reproduction.

The ages were based on a model that combined fertility and IVF success rates for 10,000 couples and assumed the gap between babies was 15 months.

He wrote that many young people were “too optimistic” about their chance of conceiving after 35 and “miracle stories in the media” inflated the success of IVF.

“When there is so much information out there about celebrities having babies in their 40s, when the chances of success are so low (unless they use donor eggs), it creates unrealistic expectations,” Louise Johnson Victorian Assisted Reproductive Treatment Authority CEO said.

“IVF does not provide a silver bullet for age-related infertility.”

It has partnered with Family Planning Victoria to design a fertility education guide for primary and secondary teachers.

“Children need to know about this technology and how it is used to create families,” Ms Johnson said.

A Melbourne mother of three children Alix Blackshaw is only 28, but she has already completed her family.

The registered nurse said both her and her husband, Dwain, were from big families and knew they wanted to have at least three children

“It’s all about personal preference, but it was my intention to have them all before the age of 30 and with a close age gap,” she said.

The benefits are that she will only be in her mid 30s when all her children start school, but it has also meant she has not been able to go travelling.

 

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