Baby Care

Leaving Your Baby For The First Time? Know These Things!

If you have any cause to leave your baby at home for the first time it can be nerve-wracking even if it’s just for one night. I had an event in Enugu and the same week I was planning to wean my baby I left him with my grandma, it was just for a night so I thought it would be okay, I was wrong!

I kept calling in to check on him and I felt guilty, when I couldn’t sleep through the night I had to use two tablets of piritin so I can sleep and be well-rested for the next day! I was that anxious.


When I finally got home, I met my baby playing happy as ever with his grandma, poor me had a bad time and a bad trip but baby was home happy and cheery.

It’s hard leaving your baby at home, but sometimes it’s necessary if you have cause to leave your child at home, know these;

1. Your baby won’t notice you’re gone

If you leave your baby with someone they are already used to being with, they’d be fine. All babies need is a capable hands and familiar face(s) and they’re good. Every hour you’re away from your baby may feel like days but it’s for the same for baby so calm down.


2. Take a hand pump along

Your flight may be delayed and your nursing breast may be full to the brim so you need a hand pump to express milk. Find a private place to pump.  Let me warn you; you might cry.

3. It’s OK if you don’t call home much

You don’t have to call in every minute to check in on your child, whoever is taking care of your child will call if something goes wrong. Just make sure they have a fully charged phone and a power bank so you don’t die of worry when you can’t reach them.

4. Your baby will be safe

The person taking care of your child may not follow your orders to the letter but your baby will be fine. They may do things differently but as long as they make sure your child is safe, keep calm.

6. It’s okay to enjoy your time away from your baby

You may enjoy the time spent away from your baby and that’s okay! You needed the break, no matter how short it is and that doesn’t make you a bad mom.


7. Airport security may throw embarrassing questions at you

If you’re travelling by air, the airport security might tell you to take apart the hand pump you’re carrying and when you’re coming back home you might have to explain why you have so many bags of breastmilk in your luggage. They are just doing their job, don’t be embarrassed.


8. Video calls is a bad idea

It’s okay to call home and see how everything is going but never ask them to show you your baby on the screen, the sight of your baby might make you cry ’cause you’ll miss your little one.

9. It never gets easier

Leaving your baby at home the first, second, and third time doesn’t get better but you become a pro at it. With time, you’ll be able to handle the emotions better.

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I Didn’t Know Things Could Change So Much After A Baby

I’ve heard about how much having a baby can change your life, how a lot can change about your marriage if your marriage isn’t strong enough, a lot of advice were thrown my way, some of it was useful others were just trash. But I found out a lot by myself, since becoming a mum, I realised that having a few close friends who will be there when you need them is more important than having many friends that don’t care about how you’re doing.

I now know who my true friends are, even my friends who I consider myself close with haven’t met my son but that’s fine.

Even if you don’t want your friend who just gave birth to a baby to feel encumbered by being there all the time, send her a text once in a while, call them up to know how you can offer them your support, don’t expect them to be the one calling for help. And invite them to parties even if they can’t attend, they’d appreciate you not excluding them.

Needless to say, the friends I considered close to me neglected to be there for me, but that was the lesson I learnt. What I wasn’t fine with was my love life that got hit with the presence of our baby. My husband and I forgot about ourselves, we became more focused taking care of our little one.

We argue about little things as I was very impatient (I blamed this on sleeplessness) I never stopped loving him though, no, I love him even more but my tolerance level became low.


We went through hard times as parents, at a point, I was scared that my marriage would hit the rock but when we strive to set time aside for each other things changed positively.

I also lose my patience easily, every ounce of patience I ever had got lost, maybe at the labour room I think. I just can’t tolerate any bullshit anymore, from my husband, friend or opinionated strangers who think they can say whatever they like  even when their opinion is not sorted.

Had I known motherhood would be this tough and it would change so much I would have spent more time loving my husband and giving him more of my time, so the bond we create will strengthen us in loving another being, protecting and worrying about him without us being broken into two. I think I’m doing a good job though, and we’d last.

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