Women often complain about how people still call them “Iya Ibeji” after they’ve given birth but Kemi’s case is actually very sad. She had a flat tummy before she got marriage, her flat tummy and figure 8 shape had always been the envy of most girls and so many men coveted her. She was the first of 3 friends to get married, she got married to her secondary school love and we were so happy for her until her luck reduced.
Kemi got pregnant two months after her wedding and you can imagine the excitement of we the clique of friends. We would happily tease her “Iyawo, Iyawo! You dey vex o! You no even calm down at all.” Her baby bump wasn’t too big like she feared, only her facial features got plump, her nose became wide in her face and we jokingly called her “Madam God nose best.”
Her pregnancy was filled with a lot of woes and when she lost the pregnancy at 28th week, she was heartbroken, she wouldn’t go out and even when we visited her she wouldn’t open her eyes and see the sun.
“Let me just die, what am I doing here” when we got there that fateful day, her husband went to bring her mother, leaving us to console her. We wept as we shared the pain and hurt of a mom who just lost her beloved pregnancy.
A month after, I was surprised to see that her tummy was bigger than what it used to be and I was forced to ask “Are you pregnant again?” And before she could answer “Congrats!” I said excitedly.
“I’m not pregnant, it’s fibroid!” she burst out. I had to shake my head twice to clear my head and understand what she was saying.
The fibroid had been there before she conceived the baby she lost and it kept growing and has now filled up the space in her uterus making it appear as if she’s still with child.
It’s even more sad because most people knew she was pregnant and they never saw her with child, the ones who had the courage to ask her, did “Aren’t you overdue?”
“I’m tired! How many people will I explain to that I’m not pregnant? That I was pregnant but I lost it and now it’s replaced with fibroid?”
Sadness has enveloped her being, I felt her pain. She lost her baby and got a fibroid and now she has a lot of explaining to do.
When I suggested a myomectomy, Kemi freaked out. She believes she got pregnant with her first child while with the fibroid and she can still do it again. Unknown to her, the fibroid will keep growing making the chances of her conceiving very slim, and when she finally does, if the fibroid is overgrown it can block the food source of the baby making her baby starve to death.
She’s still trying desperately to conceive while carrying her bulging tummy around. Now when anyone calls Kemi “Iya Ibeji” she simply answers without protesting, “you can’t keep answering them, it’s better to just ignore them” I told her one day.
“I’m just tired of hearing people call me Iya Ibeji when the only thing I’m giving birth to is shit.” She said disdained. She’s hopeful and that counts, I believe there’s nothing God cannot do.
- Don’t ever call anyone Iya Ibeji unless you are sure
- Don’t try to rub a “pregnant woman’s bump in case it’s no bump.
- And never ask a woman if she’s pregnant, if she is, time will tell.
Mamalette! what would you advise she do?