I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant

I didn’t know I was pregnant until one of my friends mentioned it. We are a clique of five from secondary school and we usually meet up at least once in a month. On one of those days, I didn’t eat before heading to the meeting place (Lilian’s house) so I finished eating my food and picked Lilian’s the extra plate, she eyed me suspiciously.

“You’re pregnant” she dropped. I tried to laugh it off but when I saw all four eyes on me I knew they actually believed her.

“You guys can’t be serious, I’m not pregnant!” I replied vehemently. It turns out they were right, later that day, I took a home pregnancy test and I discovered I was pregnant much to my own chagrin.


Then I checked myself. How is it possible that I’m pregnant but on second thought I realized that my body had given me enough tell-tale signs but I ignored them.

I just finished using birth control pills and I knew some of my friends who had to wait a year before the effect of the pills wear out which was why I wasn’t worried when my menstruation didn’t surface.


I had put on some extra weight, I was always hungry and craving foods which I would normally not eat like garri, groundnut and cold pure water which suddenly became my favourite food. All in all, I feel in love with foods and eat even during the midnight.

I got exhausted easily and as a strong woman (my father had a block industry….) I don’t breath heavily when doing small jobs unless they really are tiring.  And I became very lazy, I would lay in bed and think about doing something for hours before I force myself to stand up and actually get it done.



The only thing that would have found me out is morning sickness, but I didn’t have any of it. I was never nauseated, I never for once fall sick and vomiting wasn’t in the picture too. I later found out that not all women experience morning sickeness but did I know?


Had I paid enough attention to these telltale signs except the nausea thing of course I would have known that I am pregnant, I just didn’t notice and that’s probably because we weren’t expecting it at the time it happened.


There I brushed off my friend’s comment as “rubbish” it was after doing the test and it proved positive that I knew that the signs were there, staring me in the face but I just didn’t want to see it.


Unknown to me, my friends already placed a bet, when I announced to them at the next emergency meeting that I was pregnant, I saw them exchanging money “what’s up gals?” “we placed a bet” Lilian said cheekily has she snatched the money from the others’ hands. I guess other women who have been there before always know.


Sometimes, good things come without much ado, most women are worried about fertility issues, meanwhile, worrying is a problem on it’s own. Why do you think people who don’t want babies get them? Because their mind is not on it, wait for it Mamalette!

Were you ever pregnant without knowing? How did you find out?

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Dealing With Anxiety After A Miscarriage

After having two miscarriages in 1 year, I became scared to try again for a baby, I was afraid I’d keep trying and losing them, and the third time I got pregnant, I didn’t tell anyone, I tried hard not to be excited, instead of being happy, I was scared shitless, stressed up and worried about what would happen next. If you’ve had a miscarriage and going through all these stages you are not alone! But you need to learn how to deal with the anxiety fear that comes with being pregnant again after a miscarriage.

Studies have shown that 1 in 4 pregnancies end up in miscarriage. Yet no woman would lose her child and not almost lose her mind, I’ve been there so I know how heart-wrenching it is. Which is why it’s not hard to understand why women who had miscarried are forever changed.

When they finally get pregnant, they become worried, for their unborn babies, have sleepless nights, I’d lost two babies before I finally carried the third one to term. Many women who have had miscarriages in the past sometimes dream about losing their baby when they finally get pregnant again.

A friend of mine who had had 4 miscarriages said “There are nights I’ll wake up sweating from a nightmare where I lost my baby again” When I wake up, I would hug my belly and cry as if the dream is for real. If my baby doesn’t kick to say good morning I’d become scared, and even though I was heavily pregnant and my bump was staring me in the face I still couldn’t believe I would be a mother”

Thankfully, she gave birth to the 5th pregnancy safely, a bouncing healthy baby boy! But this is the concern most moms who have had miscarriages in the past have when they finally become pregnant again.

To heal physically, what most women need is ample rest and proper diet to help them,  but healing emotionally? That’s usually tough. The feeling of guilt and shame may be there but to heal emotionally, you need to forgive yourself!

And talk about it, talk about how rough your path to motherhood has been to people or a friend who would listen and understand, the reason why most people don’t really heal is because they never really talk about their experience and rough journey to motherhood.

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