Family Life

How To Handle A Stingy Husband?

Having a stingy husband is the height of it, do you know my mom told me about how his dad will buy tubers of yam, hide it in his room and when he cuts small out of it for cooking, he’ll put a mark on it so that no one else can cut it without his knowledge? You say ah? That was my reaction too. Some men hehn!

When my best friend got married 2 years ago I was so happy for her, after they had their last child, she quit her job. Little did I know that she had a stingy man for a husband. Each time I invite her for an outing she’d decline saying she has her hands full already.

I understood and never pressed the matter, until the day I went to her house and met her fighting with her husband. What happened? She borrowed money for the completion of their house, and the husband has refused to pay back, to make matters worse, when the debtors come in search of her and start embarrasing her, he’ll enter the house, lock the door and leave her fruitlessly battling the debtors.

That annoyed her, how could he borrow money and show no remorse when they are holding her for it? Which means if they lock her up, he might not even show up. Enough was enough, so she started a fight.

My friend went ahead to tell me that the reason she hasn’t been going out much is because she can’t afford the aso-ebi. And that she never knows when her husband is financially okay or broke. He never has enough and he’s well paid.

We have men like that all around, the question is why are they like that? You no dey shame? If a woman will give up her job despite having spent a lot to become educated, is it too much to ask that you provide for some or all her needs?

You know what annoys me the most about such men? Some of them will get themselves everything they want no matter the cost, make sure their children look good on the outside, while they don’t give a rat’s nest what happens to their wife, and they call themselves husband? (that one na rubber band o).

 To women with stingy husbands here is how to handle him;

1. Let him know you have needs

Although there are some husbands that know you need the money but will still not be ready to spend, there are some that know not that you are in finanacial crisis. So tell him your needs, make a list and show Oga what you need money for.

2. Call up your relatives and ask for money

What men hate the most is for people to think they aren’t capable of taking care of their responsibility, he thinks he’s stingy, show him who’s boss. Call up one of your family members or even your friend who is a man and ask for money in his presence. Let it hit him that “he no dey try”

3. Buy him simple gifts

He might not be used to the idea of gifts and giving without any occasion to. So on a good day, go shopping, buy something cheap, give it to him. With time, he’ll learn to do the same, out of shame, guilt or whatever.

4. Empower yourself

If your husband is not making much, taking care of you, the children, himself and his extended family might be too much for him. This might frustrate him sometimes, thus, venting it out on you by withholding money from you. Get a part time job, that’ll allow you have time for your family.

If you are still single, run away from a stingy man! A stingy man will not only be stingy with his money but control how you spend yours. And if a man is stingy when he’s poor, be rest assured he’ll be “stingier” when he’s rich.

Image credit: Tower

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Activities You Can Do To Ring In The New Year

Everyone gets excited about ringing in the New Year.

In Nigeria, one common way to ring in the New Year depending on religious affliation, is to go to church or pray at home. But do you know that there are additional ways for you to ring in the New Year with children?

The following are fun things you can do with your children on New Year’s eve.

1. Writing New Year resolutions or wishlists

One fun way to bring in a New Year is to have your children write out their New Year resolutions on a piece of paper. They can also fill out what they learned this year and what they hope to do next year.

2. Create a blessings jar

The end of an old year is a good time to reflect on all the blessing received during the year.

A good idea to help instill an attitude of gratitude in your child’s heart is to create a blessing jar. While reflecting together as a family, every member of the family can write a blessing they have received on a piece of paper, fold it up, and stick it in a jar.

Next New Year’s Eve, you can pour out all the blessings from the previous year and go through it together as a family.

3. Have a New Year’s eve party

This party does not have to involve decor, music or heavy preparations.

You can choose to have a simple slumber or pyjama party with your children and their friends in your living room.

Bring out pillows, duvets, mats, stuffed toys and some DVDs the children can watch e.g.  Toy StoryKung Fu Panda, CarsHarry PotterPrincess Diaries, Hannah Montana etc.

If you have a karaoke machine, let the kids be as loud as they want while singing their favourite songs.

4. Create a time capsule

You can choose to create a time capsule instead of a blessings jar. Have your children write anything they want to remember along with their resolutions in a container and then hide it till next year.

You can imagine how much fun it will be to read all their thoughts from the previous year, next New Year’s eve.

5. Watch other countries ring in the New Year on TV

Once you’ve said your prayers and wished all members of the family, Happy New Year, you can all seat down to watch how other countries ring in the New Year on TV.

If you are in the city of Lagos, you can also watch, the Lagos Countdown, The Biggest New Year’s Eve Party in Africa which is held at the Bar Beach on TV with the kids.

This event can be streamed live or watch on various Nigerian TV stations.

What activities are you going to do with your kids on New Year’s Eve?

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