Having a stingy husband is the height of it, do you know my mom told me about how his dad will buy tubers of yam, hide it in his room and when he cuts small out of it for cooking, he’ll put a mark on it so that no one else can cut it without his knowledge? You say ah? That was my reaction too. Some men hehn!
When my best friend got married 2 years ago I was so happy for her, after they had their last child, she quit her job. Little did I know that she had a stingy man for a husband. Each time I invite her for an outing she’d decline saying she has her hands full already.
I understood and never pressed the matter, until the day I went to her house and met her fighting with her husband. What happened? She borrowed money for the completion of their house, and the husband has refused to pay back, to make matters worse, when the debtors come in search of her and start embarrasing her, he’ll enter the house, lock the door and leave her fruitlessly battling the debtors.
That annoyed her, how could he borrow money and show no remorse when they are holding her for it? Which means if they lock her up, he might not even show up. Enough was enough, so she started a fight.
My friend went ahead to tell me that the reason she hasn’t been going out much is because she can’t afford the aso-ebi. And that she never knows when her husband is financially okay or broke. He never has enough and he’s well paid.
We have men like that all around, the question is why are they like that? You no dey shame? If a woman will give up her job despite having spent a lot to become educated, is it too much to ask that you provide for some or all her needs?
You know what annoys me the most about such men? Some of them will get themselves everything they want no matter the cost, make sure their children look good on the outside, while they don’t give a rat’s nest what happens to their wife, and they call themselves husband? (that one na rubber band o).
To women with stingy husbands here is how to handle him;
1. Let him know you have needs
Although there are some husbands that know you need the money but will still not be ready to spend, there are some that know not that you are in finanacial crisis. So tell him your needs, make a list and show Oga what you need money for.
2. Call up your relatives and ask for money
What men hate the most is for people to think they aren’t capable of taking care of their responsibility, he thinks he’s stingy, show him who’s boss. Call up one of your family members or even your friend who is a man and ask for money in his presence. Let it hit him that “he no dey try”
3. Buy him simple gifts
He might not be used to the idea of gifts and giving without any occasion to. So on a good day, go shopping, buy something cheap, give it to him. With time, he’ll learn to do the same, out of shame, guilt or whatever.
4. Empower yourself
If your husband is not making much, taking care of you, the children, himself and his extended family might be too much for him. This might frustrate him sometimes, thus, venting it out on you by withholding money from you. Get a part time job, that’ll allow you have time for your family.
If you are still single, run away from a stingy man! A stingy man will not only be stingy with his money but control how you spend yours. And if a man is stingy when he’s poor, be rest assured he’ll be “stingier” when he’s rich.
Image credit: Tower