Fertility

How I Conceived My Miracle Baby



Just like I do every two weeks after having sex, at 07:00am on the 23rd of Dec, 2014 the year my marriage clocked 5 without a child to show for it, the pregnancy test I did confirmed that I was pregnant and I couldn’t believe it. I left the bathroom, stood at the entrance to the bedroom and wept, my husband who was just rousing from bed saw tears in my eyes and ran to me “what is wrong?” When he saw the strip in my hand he thought it was negative again and came closer to comfort me “We can try again doll….”

He didn’t finish the sentence because he saw a hint of a smile on my face, he collected the strip, saw the two lines, carried me up, ran into the other room and did a funny dance. I was speechless for good 2 minutes, I was crying and laughing at the same time, the pure joy on his face, the raw emotions I felt and the fear that this might not be real made me mute for minutes before I recovered.

I’ve never ovulated since I entered puberty, it was after a series of reading that I discovered that there’s this thing like mucus that comes out of a woman’s private part some weeks after menstruation. I couldn’t ask anyone for fear I’d be seen as abnormal.

 

It was the height of my infertility issue when a year after my marriage we saw nothing(I didn’t miss my period even once)  we had to seek a gynaecologist, there at the hospital I was told that I have hormonal imbalance and placed on a couple of drugs both for anovulation and hormonal imbalance.



But even after the series of tests and drugs we kept trying and nothing, nothing at all. We never got tired of trying though, sex became boring at a time, so we had lazy sex.

The journey was tough, it got to a stage when sex became routine, we just did it to fulfil all righteousness. That was when I introduced sex toys, which I must say my husband was very excited about, we looked forward to pleasuring each other with some of these toys but even that got boring but we were both determined to keep going.

 

After series of trial and error we despaired, my husband tried to be courageous, each time I tried and it comes out negative he’ll hide his disappointment and help me deal with mine. At a time, I was scared he already has a child outside which is why he was so calm and assuring.

So when I became pregnant two days to my marriage’s 5th year anniversary you can image the joy I felt. And I cried because after being indirectly told that I can’t have my own children when drugs have failed, God answered me. Opened my womb and put all my mockers e.g my husband’s brother’s wife into shame.

My pregnancy was hitch free and when I was told that my baby was breech but could turn before birth at the 33rd week of my pregnancy, I smiled. Even my husband was surprised, to him I said “if God can open my womb after man has failed, then turning a breech baby is small.” I don’t know where I got that courage from, but sometimes when we have faced bigger problems and we overcome, small ones will be like small rats because we have faced worst things.

I started prenatal yoga class, I would download the video online and watch, I read somewhere that yoga helps reposition the baby.

By the time I went for the next appointment with my gynae I was assured that baby would be back in the normal position.

On the eve of 27th of August 2015, my contraction started and 8 hours after I gave birth to my bouncing baby boy while my husband was on his way home when he called and when he heard the news, he screamed happily, “you didn’t even ask about the baby’s sex?” I asked on phone “Who cares!” “We have a baby” Again I wept as I beheld the joy that God hath given me and a wonderful husband, one can’t be more blessed than I am!

Mamalette! Share your positive birth stories so other mothers can derive hope from it!

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My Child Died By My Hands



Sometimes in life, we wish we can turn back the hands of time and change things, but there’s nothing I can do to bring back my dead son, worse still, I have no other child since his death. If he were alive, Aramide should be clocking 4 years old today. I remember the day he met his Maker and the details of his death as if it were yesterday, the sight of his bloodied body haunts me at night. There are days I wake up screaming from nightmares with his name in my mouth. “Aramide! Aramide! Don’t go!” I would scream with my hands stretched as if to bring him back, then wake up with tear filled eyes and hands outstretched.  

No, I didn’t stab him to death with a kitchen knife or anything gory like that. That fateful afternoon, my mother came from Owo to Lagos to see her grandchild, so we picked her up from the park. Aramide was in his car seat in the front seat, while my mother was at the back, he started crying while touching his left foot, my mother picked him up from his car seat so she can see what was pinching him in the foot.

She found that a hair strand was tied to his toe, I was surprised “How did that happen? I’m on low cut so that hair is definitely not mine” I replied

I can’t remember the details of what happened next, I took off my eyes from the road for a minute to see the hair my mom was talking about and when I returned my eyes to the road, I saw I was running into the mouth of the incoming trailer, I skidded and went back to my lane, too late!



The car was off the road and it kept going until something stopped it. I blacked out.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself at the hospital and the first thing I asked was

“What happened?” “Where’s my son”

The injury to me and my mom was mild because we were belted down, the look on my husband’s face changed when I asked about our son.

He answered with a hoarse voice “Get well soon so you can see him”

“Well I’m fine now and I want to see him immediately” I said and immediately removed the needle supplying drips to my body, it stung but I couldn’t feel the pain.

I just knew something wasn’t right, something told me my baby is gone but I didn’t want to believe it, before I could get out of the hospital bed, my husband held me back, “He’s no more, Aramide is dead” he said and burst into tears.

I slumped and black out again. I woke up the third day, “Is she awake?”I could hear my mom saying weakly beside the bed. I woke up with tears in my eyes “We killed him, we did!” I kept saying.

I was discharged from the hospital but I never remained the same again, my mom was ridden with guilt too, she became terribly ill, and at her sick bed, she kept saying “I shouldn’t have come here” I didn’t dispute that, I kept hammering on “We killed her”

Needless to say, the guilt killed her, she died a week after the death of Ara and I became even more sad. I should have reassured her, I should have told her it’s not her fault.

I know I didn’t kill my mom, no, I didn’t, she died of heartache, but my son died by my hand, if only I had made sure he was safely tucked in in his baby car seat, if only I had pulled over to examine what was hurting him, I would still have my sweet baby with me right now.

Now the boy keeps coming to me in my dreams, he keeps tormenting my soul, I want closure, I want to forget, but how can I when I see him in my waking and sleeping moments? I can’t even try to get pregnant in this state of mind.

I don’t want to die of heart-ache, I don’t want to end up like my mom. How do I achieve closure, how do I tell myself it’s not my fault? Please help!

                                                                                                                                                                               Derayo 

Please ensure your children wear seat belt while inside your car, share this article on Facebook, Twitter or Whatsapp so your friends can see the danger in not belting their child up when driving.

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