How Do you Know Your Child Is Being Bullied At School?

We live in an era where young kids now commit suicide. These happenings often catch parents by surprise because they may not have an inkling on what may have led to the death of their child. One of the root cause of this occurrence is bullying. A one-off fight, misunderstanding among equals is not the same as bullying.

Bullying is a continuous misuse of power and superiority, which can be physical, verbal, or psychological, social. It happens online and offline and it can be obvious or disguised.

Parents are encouraged to have conversations around the subject matter of bullying even before it happens. This is because sometimes when it happens kids may not be able to identify it even though they feel terrible about it.

It is commonly practiced in primary, secondary, university, and even the workplace! However, our focus is on the kids today. Having regular conversation helps you to know the state of the mental balance your kids have. You do not have to create a special time for this, you can hold conversations in the car, on the road, while watching a movie, etc.

  • Is that bullying?
  • Have you ever been bullied?
  • How did you feel?
  • Did you tell anyone about it? Why? Why not?
  • Have you or your friends ever left other kids out on purpose?
  • Have you ever bullied anyone?
  • Have you ever tried to help someone who is experiencing bullying? What happened? What would you do if it happens again?

Sadly, research shows that many parents do not know when their children experience bullying and most kids do not disclose it too.  In spite of this challenge, parents need to be observant of their kids’ behaviour.

Look out for these signs

  • A drop in school grades and performance
  • Changes in eating and sleeping habit
  • Withdrawal from social interactions and sadness
  • Touchiness and anger without reason
  • Unexplained bruises or scratches
  • Refusal and reluctance to go to school
  • Damaged or lost items

What if your child tells you about his/her bully experience?  What do you do about it?

  • Keep calm and listen. I know this is hard but have to do this. Keep those outbursts of anger in and allow them speak without interrupting
  • Contact the school and report the bullying experience
  • Follow up with the school to hear the other side of the story of the alleged bully student
  • Ensure your child is reassured of his/her safety and the situation is being addressed
  • Teach your child strategies on how to handle bullies such as the use of body language and standing tall without showing emotions.
  • Being proud of whatever the physical features she is being bullied for.  For example Bully says:” See your big head” Bullied say “Thanks you know I have a bigger brain to fit in nicely”
  • This bold response will make bullies back off and have a rethink.
  • If nothing is done about it, consider changing the school, your child’s sanity, mental health is worth more.

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Don’t Judge Me By The Clothes My Kids Wear

Despite all the talk about why people should not judge others, I think some women have made other people’s issues their life matter. My daughter needed a pantyhose for her cute little gown and as y’all know Okrika pantyhoses last longer if you can get a good one. So I took my 10-year-old girl with me to Yaba market to “bend down” and select.

As I was picking and checking out the stuffs for my kids, I lifted my eyes and I saw a woman who has a mini supermarket in my area, our eyes met so out of courtesy I greeted her while checking out a brown pantyhose which I intend buying.

“Na for here you dey do am?” she asked with her voice dripping with sarcasm, “do wetin” I asked blankly as if I didn’t know what she’s referring to, she made a tss-tss sound with her teeth and said bye-bye to my girl as she left, I felt horrible.

That was mean I thought but that was only a tip of what was to come. My daughter wore her beautiful dress and her brown pantyhose to the end of the year party. Towards the end of the event, the same woman came to meet me, “you really tried with the solo song” she complimented my daughter, all the while staring at the pantyhose she was wearing until my girl became uncomfortable. To

To me she said “Iya Sandra you shouldn’t embarrass your children like that o” I nodded and moved away from her before I could say something bad and have a catfight in public.

She didn’t just humiliate me, she humiliated my child and if my girl didn’t know better she might go thinking her mom hates her which is why she buys her cheap clothes. The dress in question cost me 5,000 and it’s a new one.

Trust me to fire back at the nosy woman, I told my friend about the ish and right there we moved close to where she was, we made sure she could hear us and to my friend I said “People sabi do pass themselves o, dem go dey spend like say money na sand sand yet when you check their bank account shingbain no dey” then my friend who is a

Then my friend who is arenownedd talker replied “no be their fault o, na their type go dey collect 2 cups of garri for area when dem don broke finish” We both burst into laughter and from the corner of my eyes I saw her drag her feet and leave in search of her kids.

I’m sure I didn’t exactly teach her a lesson but she made me feel like I’m not good enough as a mother, as a matter of fact I buy new clothes for my kids, and for the record, I only buy grade A Okrika for my kids if I have to. 

Yes she was rude but what I can’t understand is why society thinks cheaper clothes are of less quality and why is it embarrasing to wear something that’s not expensive?

If I buy a Tshirt for 1k, and you buy the same one for 5k, if I’m still wearing my 1k T shirt your own might be stretched out and bleached white.

Unless it’s made of gold and will be a sure ticket to heaven I wouldn’t buy a 20,000 designer shirt for my child because it won’t last until the last days neither will it give him super powers. I don’t care if it’s designers or not because when people see it on him it’s just another cloth.

Instead of buying a 20,000 shirt for him I’d rather buy 10 of the shirts for 2k each and it will even last longer because he’ll have different ones to change into and when he pours palm oil on it I won’t scream holy sh**t and beat the crap out of him. Because kids are rough and don’t know if you bought their shirt for a million they just wanna play rough and have fun.

Your kids don’t know how expensive an item is, they don’t care about the price tag, all they want is that cartoon shirt even if it’s sold for 100 naira, if you teach your child early in life that expensive things make all the difference then you are teaching them to live extravagantly.

And if you are in the act of judging other mothers because they buy their children cheap things desist, instead when you see someone insulting such a woman support her and fight for her. Making another woman feel inadequate.

Mamalette! If you’re ever in my shoes what would you do? Share your comment below

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