Parenting

How Do you Know Your Child Is Being Bullied At School?


We live in an era where young kids now commit suicide. These happenings often catch parents by surprise because they may not have an inkling on what may have led to the death of their child. One of the root cause of this occurrence is bullying. A one-off fight, misunderstanding among equals is not the same as bullying.

Bullying is a continuous misuse of power and superiority, which can be physical, verbal, or psychological, social. It happens online and offline and it can be obvious or disguised.

Parents are encouraged to have conversations around the subject matter of bullying even before it happens. This is because sometimes when it happens kids may not be able to identify it even though they feel terrible about it.


It is commonly practiced in primary, secondary, university, and even the workplace! However, our focus is on the kids today. Having regular conversation helps you to know the state of the mental balance your kids have. You do not have to create a special time for this, you can hold conversations in the car, on the road, while watching a movie, etc.

  • Is that bullying?
  • Have you ever been bullied?
  • How did you feel?
  • Did you tell anyone about it? Why? Why not?
  • Have you or your friends ever left other kids out on purpose?
  • Have you ever bullied anyone?
  • Have you ever tried to help someone who is experiencing bullying? What happened? What would you do if it happens again?

Sadly, research shows that many parents do not know when their children experience bullying and most kids do not disclose it too.  In spite of this challenge, parents need to be observant of their kids’ behaviour.

Look out for these signs

  • A drop in school grades and performance
  • Changes in eating and sleeping habit
  • Withdrawal from social interactions and sadness
  • Touchiness and anger without reason
  • Unexplained bruises or scratches
  • Refusal and reluctance to go to school
  • Damaged or lost items

What if your child tells you about his/her bully experience?  What do you do about it?

  • Keep calm and listen. I know this is hard but have to do this. Keep those outbursts of anger in and allow them speak without interrupting
  • Contact the school and report the bullying experience
  • Follow up with the school to hear the other side of the story of the alleged bully student
  • Ensure your child is reassured of his/her safety and the situation is being addressed
  • Teach your child strategies on how to handle bullies such as the use of body language and standing tall without showing emotions.
  • Being proud of whatever the physical features she is being bullied for.  For example Bully says:” See your big head” Bullied say “Thanks you know I have a bigger brain to fit in nicely”
  • This bold response will make bullies back off and have a rethink.
  • If nothing is done about it, consider changing the school, your child’s sanity, mental health is worth more.

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How To Build Your Kid’s Character


Parents have a lot to do in their children’s life. A child can decide which course to take no matter the way his parents showed him, but if you did your part as a parent you wouldn’t have any fears knowing you did well by your kids and you’d be able to vouch for your child any time. Every parent should endeavour to build children with enviable characters, here are some tips to help you.

Here are the characters all parents should build in their children;

 

1. Honesty

There are many who have gone a long way just by being honest. Teach your child the importance of honesty, when they own up to doing wrong, reward them and when they lie, discipline them. Even a simple act of stealing sweets shouldn’t be ignored, although discipline should be light and the child should be told what they did wrong.

 

2. Hard work

I never heard of any man whom hard work killed, my mum has a saying “hard work doesn’t kill, only laziness does” Even if you’re rich, if you don’t teach your child to be hardworking, they’ll wreck the family company they are handling in just a month because hard work is not their thing.  Talk to your child about how you work hard to give him all he needs in life and why he has to do the same, starting now.


3. Positivity

This starts with you, when you wake up in the morning, be positive, “This is such a beautiful day, full of hope and promises” say this when your child is within earshot. You need to teach your child to see a good side to everything, not that there’s no bad in the world but even in darkness, teach them to see light.

4. Strength

Teach your children to be strong, especially if you have a girl child. Women are making it in the world today that’s because they never allowed themselves to be trampled in the oceans of men who are ready to push them aside and see them as nothing. Women are being widely accepted in our world today, if only such a woman will distinct herself. Teach your daughter to be strong and never back down.

You can’t have a perfect child unless he’s a robot, because humans are made to be imperfect but when you gently but firmly mould a child’s character from a young age he won’t turn around? And the credit goes to you because you will feel accomplished as a parent to such a child and you’re helping society be a better place.

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