Does “Wanting It All” Make Me A Selfish Mom?

When I see questions like “Would you choose your children over your career?” anger wells up inside me. I hope I never have to answer this question, why can’t I have my career and my children too? Why do I have to choose one of them? Who says I can’t be a great mother to my children and be successful in my career at the same time?

Yes, it’s an extremely challenging task but it’s very possible to be a great mom and a successful career woman. And what’s the assurance that staying at home full-time will make me a good mom to my kids?

The truth is motherhood is hard, whether or not you are working. The reason why most women can afford to stay at home and take care of their children back in the days can do it is because things were easier then. Now, everything is frigging expensive, and husbands expect their wife to support in paying the bill.

Besides, women who spent years learning in school no longer want to stay at home and let the years of training, the money on school fees, project and the time go to waste, everyone wants to be financially empowered.



And every woman deserves to feel much more than a woman, mother and wife, we need to feel some sort of fulfillment from working with our hands and making money.

My mom was always telling me “you’re so ungrateful” anytime I disappoint her, then one day I said some spiteful words to her ” Who send you message? I didn’t ask you to make sacrifices for me and I didn’t ask to be given birth to!” I was 15 but I didn’t know nothing about sacrifices, she gave me a slap before leaving the room.

Now I understand the gravity of my words, her years of leaving her office work to start teaching and when teaching was consuming too much of her time she left it too, after the birth of her third born, me. And how did I repay her?



Your child wouldn’t be any grateful if you left your job for them than they would if you don’t, being a working mom is even going to teach them a lot.

And if it’s about spending time with the kids, if we spend quality time with our kids when we are around them, then we make up for the time we aren’t around right? Quality is always better than quantity anytime!

 My oldest son is 10 though I didn’t really have time for him growing up, but he’s doing just fine as the little time we spend together, I try to make them memorable, the glimpses of the man I’m seeing in him, tells me I didn’t do bad by him.
I adore the three of them and never cease to show and tell them how much I love them, I’m very articulate about my feelings, I must say.

I can’t vouch for all working moms, but for me, having kids and my career at the same time makes me a better mother, if I were a full-time mom, I’d be restless, frustrated and unhappy and how would that make me a better mom to my kids and a great wife to my husband?

When guilt creep in, I tell myself I’m doing the best that I can, I couldn’t have done better if I were a full-time mom, I’d probably do worse. My joy comes from tackling challenges at work, coming home to kids who are excited to see me, and being able to provide some money from my own end.

If wanting it all makes me a selfish mom, then I’m the “most selfish” of all humans.

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15 Signs Your “Innocent” Child Is Lying

Children think they are very clever, and when they lie giving you that adorable look, you’ll almost believe them until you take a closer look. I asked my 5-year-old child, “what did you do to your sister” “Nothing” He said, giving me that angelic look of his, yet he was seated on his sister’s hand. Nothing indeed.

They have no qualms conning you right to your face and they feel no pinch of guilt about it, whatever they do they’ll still be your adorable little ones, though.  But I must say that some are very good at lying than others, so in order to catch them at their thing, you need to be on the red alert! So here are the signs that your innocent child is lying through his teeth;

  1. You ask him “did you bed-wet today” and she answers “No” with a squeezed face and a hand covering her wet cloth.
  2. You smell something funny and you ask “are you pooping” And she answers with a grunt “No” from behind the chair.
  3. You find call history to your old friends after your child has denied ever touching your phone yet your credit is exhausted.
  4. Crumbs of biscuit or residue of the things she claimed she didn’t eat smeared across her face or on her mouth.
  5. Scared that you might read the truth from his expression, he looks left, right and anywhere else but you as you ask questions(beware some can look straight into your eyes and lie)
  6. “Junior! Are you….” You asked from inside the room and he calls out “No, I’m not” but his sister’s muffled cry of “Yes, he is” can be heard through the pillow or hand he covered her mouth with.
  7. You ask a question, he answers, then run to a distance where your hand can’t reach him(hold him, he’s guilty)
  8. He has other people to pin the blame on and they are all denying.
  9. The child you are speaking to has one or more siblings she can pin the blame on.
  10. Her face is saying “I’m telling the truth” so is her lips but her body language says “I might run anytime soon, watch me”
  11. “What’s that sound” you asked after you heard a crash, then they replied “Nothing mom!” from inside the room, they probably just broke your bottle of perfume!
  12. “Where is the superglue” or “Where’s the needle” she casually asked and when you asked her what it’s for she replied “Nothing” Hmm…
  13. When his “No” comes out as a “Nooooooo” They are trying to assure you and calm themselves as well, which is why the “NO” has so many oooo.
  14. She said “ummmmmm’ for more than 10 seconds before answering the question you asked her.
  15. He tries to stop you from entering his room or opening the drawer.

And these are the ways you can catch your child at his lying game.

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