When I see questions like “Would you choose your children over your career?” anger wells up inside me. I hope I never have to answer this question, why can’t I have my career and my children too? Why do I have to choose one of them? Who says I can’t be a great mother to my children and be successful in my career at the same time?
Yes, it’s an extremely challenging task but it’s very possible to be a great mom and a successful career woman. And what’s the assurance that staying at home full-time will make me a good mom to my kids?
The truth is motherhood is hard, whether or not you are working. The reason why most women can afford to stay at home and take care of their children back in the days can do it is because things were easier then. Now, everything is frigging expensive, and husbands expect their wife to support in paying the bill.
Besides, women who spent years learning in school no longer want to stay at home and let the years of training, the money on school fees, project and the time go to waste, everyone wants to be financially empowered.
And every woman deserves to feel much more than a woman, mother and wife, we need to feel some sort of fulfillment from working with our hands and making money.
My mom was always telling me “you’re so ungrateful” anytime I disappoint her, then one day I said some spiteful words to her ” Who send you message? I didn’t ask you to make sacrifices for me and I didn’t ask to be given birth to!” I was 15 but I didn’t know nothing about sacrifices, she gave me a slap before leaving the room.
Now I understand the gravity of my words, her years of leaving her office work to start teaching and when teaching was consuming too much of her time she left it too, after the birth of her third born, me. And how did I repay her?
Your child wouldn’t be any grateful if you left your job for them than they would if you don’t, being a working mom is even going to teach them a lot.
And if it’s about spending time with the kids, if we spend quality time with our kids when we are around them, then we make up for the time we aren’t around right? Quality is always better than quantity anytime!
I can’t vouch for all working moms, but for me, having kids and my career at the same time makes me a better mother, if I were a full-time mom, I’d be restless, frustrated and unhappy and how would that make me a better mom to my kids and a great wife to my husband?
When guilt creep in, I tell myself I’m doing the best that I can, I couldn’t have done better if I were a full-time mom, I’d probably do worse. My joy comes from tackling challenges at work, coming home to kids who are excited to see me, and being able to provide some money from my own end.
If wanting it all makes me a selfish mom, then I’m the “most selfish” of all humans.