I’ve heard about how much having a baby can change your life, how a lot can change about your marriage if your marriage isn’t strong enough, a lot of advice were thrown my way, some of it was useful others were just trash. But I found out a lot by myself, since becoming a mum, I realised that having a few close friends who will be there when you need them is more important than having many friends that don’t care about how you’re doing.
I now know who my true friends are, even my friends who I consider myself close with haven’t met my son but that’s fine.
Even if you don’t want your friend who just gave birth to a baby to feel encumbered by being there all the time, send her a text once in a while, call them up to know how you can offer them your support, don’t expect them to be the one calling for help. And invite them to parties even if they can’t attend, they’d appreciate you not excluding them.
Needless to say, the friends I considered close to me neglected to be there for me, but that was the lesson I learnt. What I wasn’t fine with was my love life that got hit with the presence of our baby. My husband and I forgot about ourselves, we became more focused taking care of our little one.
We argue about little things as I was very impatient (I blamed this on sleeplessness) I never stopped loving him though, no, I love him even more but my tolerance level became low.
We went through hard times as parents, at a point, I was scared that my marriage would hit the rock but when we strive to set time aside for each other things changed positively.
I also lose my patience easily, every ounce of patience I ever had got lost, maybe at the labour room I think. I just can’t tolerate any bullshit anymore, from my husband, friend or opinionated strangers who think they can say whatever they like even when their opinion is not sorted.
Had I known motherhood would be this tough and it would change so much I would have spent more time loving my husband and giving him more of my time, so the bond we create will strengthen us in loving another being, protecting and worrying about him without us being broken into two. I think I’m doing a good job though, and we’d last.