Fertility

Dealing With Anxiety After A Miscarriage


After having two miscarriages in 1 year, I became scared to try again for a baby, I was afraid I’d keep trying and losing them, and the third time I got pregnant, I didn’t tell anyone, I tried hard not to be excited, instead of being happy, I was scared shitless, stressed up and worried about what would happen next. If you’ve had a miscarriage and going through all these stages you are not alone! But you need to learn how to deal with the anxiety fear that comes with being pregnant again after a miscarriage.

Studies have shown that 1 in 4 pregnancies end up in miscarriage. Yet no woman would lose her child and not almost lose her mind, I’ve been there so I know how heart-wrenching it is. Which is why it’s not hard to understand why women who had miscarried are forever changed.

When they finally get pregnant, they become worried, for their unborn babies, have sleepless nights, I’d lost two babies before I finally carried the third one to term. Many women who have had miscarriages in the past sometimes dream about losing their baby when they finally get pregnant again.

A friend of mine who had had 4 miscarriages said “There are nights I’ll wake up sweating from a nightmare where I lost my baby again” When I wake up, I would hug my belly and cry as if the dream is for real. If my baby doesn’t kick to say good morning I’d become scared, and even though I was heavily pregnant and my bump was staring me in the face I still couldn’t believe I would be a mother”


Thankfully, she gave birth to the 5th pregnancy safely, a bouncing healthy baby boy! But this is the concern most moms who have had miscarriages in the past have when they finally become pregnant again.

To heal physically, what most women need is ample rest and proper diet to help them,  but healing emotionally? That’s usually tough. The feeling of guilt and shame may be there but to heal emotionally, you need to forgive yourself!

And talk about it, talk about how rough your path to motherhood has been to people or a friend who would listen and understand, the reason why most people don’t really heal is because they never really talk about their experience and rough journey to motherhood.

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At What Age Should You Have A Baby?


Scientists have revealed the perfect age for parents to start a family and why, and this might come as a surprise to many.To have the best chance of having just one child naturally, couples should start trying to conceive when the female is aged under 32. But for those yearning for two children, the woman should be about 27.

And to have three children, the new research indicates that women should only wait until they are 23 to start trying to become pregnant.

The researchers, from Erasmus University Medical Center in the Netherlands, said the latest female age that a couple should start trying to become pregnant depended on the importance of achieving their desired family size and their views on IVF.

If couples would consider IVF, those wanting a one-child family could wait until the woman was 35, but 31 was the cap for two children and 28 for three children.


While the results may come as a surprise to many young couples, it may also be reassuring for those aiming for a smaller family.

“For couples who are content with one child and do not wish a very high chance of success: they can start at age 37 for a 75 per cent (chance of success) and 41 years for a 50 per cent success chance,” lead researcher Professor Dik Habbema wrote in the journal Human Reproduction.

The ages were based on a model that combined fertility and IVF success rates for 10,000 couples and assumed the gap between babies was 15 months.

He wrote that many young people were “too optimistic” about their chance of conceiving after 35 and “miracle stories in the media” inflated the success of IVF.

“When there is so much information out there about celebrities having babies in their 40s, when the chances of success are so low (unless they use donor eggs), it creates unrealistic expectations,” Louise Johnson Victorian Assisted Reproductive Treatment Authority CEO said.

“IVF does not provide a silver bullet for age-related infertility.”

It has partnered with Family Planning Victoria to design a fertility education guide for primary and secondary teachers.

“Children need to know about this technology and how it is used to create families,” Ms Johnson said.

A Melbourne mother of three children Alix Blackshaw is only 28, but she has already completed her family.

The registered nurse said both her and her husband, Dwain, were from big families and knew they wanted to have at least three children

“It’s all about personal preference, but it was my intention to have them all before the age of 30 and with a close age gap,” she said.

The benefits are that she will only be in her mid 30s when all her children start school, but it has also meant she has not been able to go travelling.

 

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