Parenting

Consent Is an Important Lesson To Teach Your Child



It is sad that 34% of sexual abuse cases occur in children younger than 9, and in 90% of those cases, the perpetrators are either family members or people which the child knows and trust to an extent like a teacher, neighbour, friend, or even cousin. And this is why parents should teach their children “consent” from a very young age, it will help them set boundaries, learn respect for themselves and others.

You might be thinking your child is too young to be given lectures on consent but since sexual abuse starts at a young age, so should this kind of a talk.

For a start, practice asking from home, for example;

 

Ask your child ”May I borrow your pen?” This way, your child knows, yes you bought the pen for her, but it’s now hers and shouldn’t be taken without permission.



“May I eat this food” This teaches your child to stop, think and ask before doing anything, and not do things on impulse.

Ask them, “Can I hold your hand?” or asking their friend might seem too formal but it’s so they know that when they aren’t comfortable with being touched, they can say ‘No.”

And if someone wants to hug them “Aunty Bola wants to give you a hug. Is that ok?” By asking, you are making it known to your child that no one has the right to touch them if they don’t want to be touched. 

In the future, these acts will help them understand the concept of consent. If a child learns early in life that they have full ownership of their body, they will be able to say “No” to anyone touching them in places they don’t want to be touched.

Which is why, if your child says she/he doesn’t want to give aunty Bola a hug, don’t push it. Your  child has the right to say “yes’ or “No”

Teaching your child to set boundaries is a vital skill. And by allowing your child to decide who should kiss them or hug them goes a long way in teaching your child about boundaries.

In the same vein, children should know that other people have a right over their body as well, teach them to respect “No” from anyone. And a person’s “no” doesn’t mean “Yes”, children lacking in this teaching are the ones who rape girls.  

Your child also need to know that humans change their mind, just because their friend was okay with a hug or holding hands some minutes ago doesn’t mean  they still want to hold hands now.

 

Consent for one act does not imply consent for another. If their friend is okay with hugging, he might not be fine with kisses.

Gradually teach your children these things and watch them grow into fine women and good-natured men. And by so doing you are also empowering your girls and breeding your boys to be good men who won’t rape other people’s girls.

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15 Signs Your “Innocent” Child Is Lying



Children think they are very clever, and when they lie giving you that adorable look, you’ll almost believe them until you take a closer look. I asked my 5-year-old child, “what did you do to your sister” “Nothing” He said, giving me that angelic look of his, yet he was seated on his sister’s hand. Nothing indeed.

They have no qualms conning you right to your face and they feel no pinch of guilt about it, whatever they do they’ll still be your adorable little ones, though.  But I must say that some are very good at lying than others, so in order to catch them at their thing, you need to be on the red alert! So here are the signs that your innocent child is lying through his teeth;

  1. You ask him “did you bed-wet today” and she answers “No” with a squeezed face and a hand covering her wet cloth.
  2. You smell something funny and you ask “are you pooping” And she answers with a grunt “No” from behind the chair.
  3. You find call history to your old friends after your child has denied ever touching your phone yet your credit is exhausted.
  4. Crumbs of biscuit or residue of the things she claimed she didn’t eat smeared across her face or on her mouth.
  5. Scared that you might read the truth from his expression, he looks left, right and anywhere else but you as you ask questions(beware some can look straight into your eyes and lie)
  6. “Junior! Are you….” You asked from inside the room and he calls out “No, I’m not” but his sister’s muffled cry of “Yes, he is” can be heard through the pillow or hand he covered her mouth with.
  7. You ask a question, he answers, then run to a distance where your hand can’t reach him(hold him, he’s guilty)
  8. He has other people to pin the blame on and they are all denying.
  9. The child you are speaking to has one or more siblings she can pin the blame on.
  10. Her face is saying “I’m telling the truth” so is her lips but her body language says “I might run anytime soon, watch me”
  11. “What’s that sound” you asked after you heard a crash, then they replied “Nothing mom!” from inside the room, they probably just broke your bottle of perfume!
  12. “Where is the superglue” or “Where’s the needle” she casually asked and when you asked her what it’s for she replied “Nothing” Hmm…
  13. When his “No” comes out as a “Nooooooo” They are trying to assure you and calm themselves as well, which is why the “NO” has so many oooo.
  14. She said “ummmmmm’ for more than 10 seconds before answering the question you asked her.
  15. He tries to stop you from entering his room or opening the drawer.

And these are the ways you can catch your child at his lying game.

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