How I Contracted HIV From My Husband On My Wedding Night
Yesterday, I was going through my Instagram page and lo and behold a story popped up that touched me to the very core. A woman had been in a relationship for a while and finally it was time to get married, all the while that they had been dating, she insisted that she wasn’t going to have any “unprotected intercourse” with him.
She always believed that when they got married they could then begin to make love without the need for protection. Days before the wedding her husband’s mum called her and told her to ask him about HIV, even though she felt it was strange she asked him and he said he didn't know what she was talking about. He even went to the hospital to get tested and told her that his result was Negative.
She took his word for it, trusted that he would not lie to her infact she said that she trusted him with her life. That was how much she trusted him. But little did she know that on her wedding night, the first time she was going to be having unprotected intercourse with him was the night he was going to be introducing her to “His HIV”.
Maybe she contracted it that same night or maybe it was during her honeymoon that she contracted it, she would never know. All she knows is that she trusted him with her life and he took her life into his own hands and chose to lie in the most explainable way!
When the doctor told her she was HIV positive,she confronted him and he denied it, she found out about other women and possibly men he was sleeping with yet he still denied it. All the way up to his arrest, he lied! He only finally told the truth when the judge said, "we have you on a recorded conversation admitting that you had HIV since 2002”.
Studies have shown that in Nigeria, masculinity norms impress on men to have more than one s.xual partner and it is common for older men to have unprotected s.xual relationship with much younger women.
Various studies in Nigeria identified the following as factors that make women and girls more vulnerable to HIV. Most women and girls lack power to control key aspects of their lives including marriage and sexual negotiation in and out of marriage. Most women and girls also lack social and economic power to control the impact of the epidemic in their lives.
Just last year, a story was told about a woman whose boyfriend gave her HIV knowingly and she still went ahead to marry him even though she hated him for lying to her. In Akwa Ibom it was disclosed that 51.6 percent of married men and women have tested positive to HIV/AIDS infection while prostitutes constitute only 4 percent.
The truth is there are a lot of married women going through worse than this in their homes in Nigeria. Men have been told that they are not capable of being loyal to one woman and so they go sleep around and infect their wives at home with all sorts of diseases. It is not even restricted to only men, even some women sleep around and end up infecting their husband with all sorts.
The HIV positive woman who was infected by her husband was inspired to come out and talk because she knows there are other women going through worse in their own homes. In Nigeria, we don't hear stories like that, they are hidden, safely guarded secret.
Are you a woman going through this at home or even worse, don't bear this burden alone, we would like to know your stories. Share your stories with us on [email protected].
You are Mamalette, You are not alone..