It is common to find tips or guidelines on what to do or not do when you visit a first-time mum. When the first time mum becomes a second time or multiple time mums what happens?
There is the general thought that childbirth is no longer new to a second time mum. She should be able to handle the challenges and demands of the new addition in her strides with no hassles but this belief does not hold true for all mothers. Second-time mums need as much care as they got at first.
Before you head out in excitement to visit your friend who just had a second baby, arm yourself with these tips to make your next visit to a mum of two and unforgettable one.
What Should You do or Expect
Call or send a text message before visiting: Entertaining guests, friends or anyone for that matter demands time, energy and a whole lot than you can imagine. When you call or text them you help to prepare them for your visit. Do not just barge in on them even if you are in the neighbourhood.
Expect cancelled visits: Yes, you obeyed rule one and you think she would quickly give you a resounding YES but wait a minute you just might get a NO! When you do, get the negative response do not be offend your timing of visit might not be the right time to come over. Ask her what time would be convenient for you to come and be flexible about it.
Wash your hands: It does not matter if you washed your hands just before stepping into the house. Before you seat, ask to wash your hands or use a sanitizer. When you do this, you take the strain off the new mum from stating her request for the safety of her new baby and you would win some respect in addition.
Bring something: If you are close to the new mum, you can bring cooked food, raw food or other baby and mother gift along with you. Do not go empty-handed.
Do offer to help: Offer to help her out with house chores, observe your environment, ask to help fold clothes, wash plates, sweep the floor, hold the baby, entertain the toddler, take a picture of her, her baby and the family. Some mothers do not have the time to indulge taking pictures of themselves. The picture you take helps to build memories etc. If she resists out of shyness, genuinely emphasis your desire to help and support her.
Help through the night: If you are a close family member and you got their consent to sleepover, you can offer to help with the baby at night by feeding the baby at night with expressed milk while dad and mum catch the more needed sleep.
What Should You Not Do
Do not visit if you are sick: Babies have low immunity and no matter the amount of excitement, you have if you are sick, stay at home. Also, do not bring a sick kid to visit a new baby too. Your love is best expressed when you protect this little one.
Do not kiss the baby: This still ties up with transmitting illness too. Don’t be mad at me but the truth is many babies have been infected with one illness or the other through kissing. I am sure you do not want to be a suspect if anything goes wrong. So play safe and avoid the temptation to kiss that cute little baby.
Do not stare at her boobies: Listen up men and women, that new mum has to breastfeed her baby either you are present or not so when she attempts to breastfeed or hug you that is not the time to act funny or steer at her breast. Let her be.
Do not stay too long: The new mom of two needs to rest, feed the baby or do other things. Remember she may have been up all through the night. It is good you do not stay too long except she asked you to help with somethings that take more time than usual.
Do not think that a second-time mom is an all-powerful mom; a second child does not make parenting any easier. Be kind, helpful and supportive.