7 Thoughts That May Be Running Through A Dad-To-be’s Mind

You have been feeling sickly recently and something tells you it may just be an early sign that your baby is on the way.

You are anxious and the next morning you dash into the pharmacy to get your pregnancy test kit. You can hear your heart beating as you pee on the kit. You look closely and it shows you are pregnant!  What a joy! You scream and your hubby comes to check up on what is happening to you. You give in a hug and tell him his dreams of becoming a father is now a reality.

After the excitement, the surprise comes the dawning of a new reality for your man-he is going to be a father. This new understanding for a man comes with inner battles and struggles that may not be obvious to everyone. Many daddies to be feel awkward and anxious about knowing what is expected of them and meeting up with that expectation. It is even more difficult to share these insecurities because the focus is on ensuring the wellbeing of the mum-to-be.

Here are some of the thoughts that a dad-to-be would likely think about as he awaits the birth of his baby.

  1. Protection and Provision: In a home where the financial framework is not strong, one of the biggest fears for the man of the house is how to provide and protect his family. This is because the birth of a child further increases financial pressure on the family’s purse from two to three.
  2. Independence: Many dads-to-be worry about the likely increase demands on their time when the baby comes. This is because the focus will be on caring and nurturing the child which one way or the other affects personal freedom of the couple. But the truth is that you find love in another dimension that you have never experienced before you became a dad.
  3. Birthing process: Some men tend to feel afraid of what their likely reactions will be when they see their spouse in labour and delivery. The fear of passing out or throwing up could be real if you cannot stand blood or body fluids. The reality is that it is not a crime feel this way and it does not make you less of a man.
  4. How to care for the baby: You know how frail new-borns are when you carry them? Most dads-to-be are afraid that the way they would carry their baby may hurt the baby so they shy away from doing that. There is no need to worry, as long as you are cautious and do not grip the baby roughly with a little carefulness, you pull through and become a baby care champion soon. Dads-to-be can learn from experienced dads to make the transition easy.
  5. Changing phase of life: Becoming a parent sends the signal that you are getting older and your replacements are coming to life. That’s hard, but it is the truth. You are no longer a child but a father. At this point, you begin to look at life more critically with a careful examination of your past choices and present opportunity.
  6. Spouse and baby pulling through the childbirth experience: Watching your wife bring forth that new life is a nerve-racking experience that many men who are experiencing it for the first time will not forget in hurry. The type of healthcare system in Nigeria is such that men whose wife are in labour pray hard for their wives and baby to come out alive. These fear grips many men. No man wants to lose his wife to childbirth but this still happens around us.
  7. New competition for spousal attention and love: Some men fear that their wives would love their new baby more than they love them. Women tend to focus attention on the newborn than their husbands. This worry extends to the deep and sometimes unuttered concern of when the couple’s s.x life would resume and how to handle postpartum changes.

Indeed having a baby can affect your relationship with your spouse but it will improve with time if you do the following;

  • Prepare for the coming of your baby together; discuss your fears and expectations of each other and the birthing process.
  • You show understanding that your baby needs your wife and that you are partners in raising your bundle of joy. Having a dad friend will help you share your worries and find good counsel on how to scale through the new change of having a baby.
  • You provide financial and emotional support as she undergoes dramatic physical and emotional changes in her body and mind.

Being a dad changes your life forever, in spite of its challenges, fatherhood is one of the best things that can ever happen to any man.

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Breaking Stereotypes With The Work-From-Home Dad Trend

Work-from-home dad? Yes, you read right!

The work-from-home dad phenomenon is fast becoming the new normal.  Many men chose to leave their paid job to pursue entrepreneurship, which offers time flexibility compared to their paid jobs while others are forced to be one due to job loss.

In many homes, the women are the breadwinner, this may look odd because of the social and religious stereotypes we all believe in that stipulates that the woman should be at home and the man should be out and about making money for the home.

Many at times the choice to stay at home for many men is difficult to make because of the social perception associated with men who do not go out of their house. Some women may even be accused of using voodoo or love portions on their spouse in order to make lose their desire to work outside the home.

Being a stay-at-home dad is not synonymous with being jobless or useless. In recent times many men have successfully run offline and online businesses worth millions from the confines of their home while looking out for the kids. There are factors to consider before taking the bold step of being a work-from-home dad

Have a side hustle: many men who opt out of full-time employment to work for themselves have either marketable skills or side hustles with the huge prospect of growing big if more time was devoted to it. Do not take a leap out of your job to the unknown out of the zeal of being a work-from-home dad without test running this business to see if it would hold up. You can offer your skills on online platforms that require such skills.

Mutual understanding: Couples must come to an agreement on the choice of who works and who stays at home. It would not make financial sense if the woman who earns more have to stay at home because the man who earns less has to work to prove a point. All the angles to this decision must be considered dispassionately.

Prepare yourself for wrong perceptions: it is still not popular to find men work full time from home. You have to be prepared to encounter misunderstanding from well-meaning people who are concerned about your ‘joblessness’ all because you do not step out of your house as much as other men do.

Once you are certain that this idea of being a work-from-home dad will fly. Take the step and work hard it. It might be rough at the start but you certainly will pull through and grow big if you don’t give up.

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