Parenting

6 Gross Things Only A Mother Would Google



Mothers are always so worried even when there’s nothing to worry about, but do you blame us? if anything happens to your child people will blame you for not asking for help, and that’s why you’ll often see mothers ask questions like “my 2-year-old boy has an erection, is it normal?” and another question that goes like “Why’s my daughter’s labia pink?” When things get weird with our kids, to get answers, we often turn to the internet.

To make yourself feel better about the super weird questions you have asked google yourself, here are way weirder questions people have asked about parenting;

 

1. “Penis got stuck”

A lot of time, moms have asked different questions about their boy’s penis, “my son tied his penis with thread, how do I untie it?.” The thing is, boys are usually curious about their penis so they play with it, tie it up, and there was a time my boy plastered chewing gum on it.

2. “Normal for 4-year-old to stick finger in butt?”

No matter how many times you warn them about not sticking their fingers in their butt there might still be one of them who sees nothing wrong with it. I’ve had to say “keep your hands off your stinking butt!” a couple of times so if you have at any point asked google this question, we are in this together.



3. “Is it normal for a kid to kill an imaginary friend?”

When my 4-year-old was playing superhero and suddenly started killing his enemies, I started wondering if I’m breeding an aggressive child, how come he has such a violent imagination? I found out that it’s normal for kids to play a particular character, give them space to explore you can guide them a little but don’t be too judgemental.

 

4. “Will babies get sick from eating their own poop?”

A doctor friend of mine said most of the messages she gets is about illness, injuries, and questions from moms asking if their baby can get sick from eating their own poop. It’s actually possible for your child to be curious about how their poop taste so shortly after you leave them to do their “business” you might come back to find them having a taste of their own poop. It’s disgusting, revolting and ugh! But it’s not gonna harm your baby.

5. “Is my child a soothsayer?”

A friend of mine has a son that talks in his sleep, whispering and walking around as if he’s communing with some people in his dreams, my friend became so worried she had to ask Mamalette this question because she was starting to believe that her child is connected to the spirit world and can see things. The truth however is, her child plays too much during the day and end up re-playing the whole act later in his sleep.

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15 Signs Your “Innocent” Child Is Lying



Children think they are very clever, and when they lie giving you that adorable look, you’ll almost believe them until you take a closer look. I asked my 5-year-old child, “what did you do to your sister” “Nothing” He said, giving me that angelic look of his, yet he was seated on his sister’s hand. Nothing indeed.

They have no qualms conning you right to your face and they feel no pinch of guilt about it, whatever they do they’ll still be your adorable little ones, though.  But I must say that some are very good at lying than others, so in order to catch them at their thing, you need to be on the red alert! So here are the signs that your innocent child is lying through his teeth;

  1. You ask him “did you bed-wet today” and she answers “No” with a squeezed face and a hand covering her wet cloth.
  2. You smell something funny and you ask “are you pooping” And she answers with a grunt “No” from behind the chair.
  3. You find call history to your old friends after your child has denied ever touching your phone yet your credit is exhausted.
  4. Crumbs of biscuit or residue of the things she claimed she didn’t eat smeared across her face or on her mouth.
  5. Scared that you might read the truth from his expression, he looks left, right and anywhere else but you as you ask questions(beware some can look straight into your eyes and lie)
  6. “Junior! Are you….” You asked from inside the room and he calls out “No, I’m not” but his sister’s muffled cry of “Yes, he is” can be heard through the pillow or hand he covered her mouth with.
  7. You ask a question, he answers, then run to a distance where your hand can’t reach him(hold him, he’s guilty)
  8. He has other people to pin the blame on and they are all denying.
  9. The child you are speaking to has one or more siblings she can pin the blame on.
  10. Her face is saying “I’m telling the truth” so is her lips but her body language says “I might run anytime soon, watch me”
  11. “What’s that sound” you asked after you heard a crash, then they replied “Nothing mom!” from inside the room, they probably just broke your bottle of perfume!
  12. “Where is the superglue” or “Where’s the needle” she casually asked and when you asked her what it’s for she replied “Nothing” Hmm…
  13. When his “No” comes out as a “Nooooooo” They are trying to assure you and calm themselves as well, which is why the “NO” has so many oooo.
  14. She said “ummmmmm’ for more than 10 seconds before answering the question you asked her.
  15. He tries to stop you from entering his room or opening the drawer.

And these are the ways you can catch your child at his lying game.

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